I’m trying my best to forget about you. I just don’t understand why I can’t this time. I used to be strong but you made me weak. You just don’t understand what you do to me.
Before, the whole dating/love thing didn’t phase me, but when you came into the picture it all changed. Everything just changed. Before I could let go and I wouldn’t care, but now I can’t let go, I can’t move on, I can’t forget. I’m trying, but I can’t. No matter how hard I try, it hurts.
My heart keeps shattering and my tears keep falling. I try to be stronger for myself and its useless because I keep letting you back in my life. It’s like giving myself false hope, but every time you give me hope it fails because in the end we’re still JUST FRIENDS. Why do you do this to me?
I’ve tried to put my guard back up and but it’s pointless because it doesn’t stay up because of you. I try to ignore the phone calls and the text messages, but I CAN’T. I try to cheer up, I try to keep my mind off of it, off of us, off of what used to be, it’s pointless.
I still answer your phone calls and I always reply to your text messages, constantly fighting myself not to, knowing that my heart will just keep breaking. It doesn’t stop, it seems as if my heart will just be so broken, it’s beyond repair. Why do you keep doing this? You know us being together isn’t what you want, but you still call and text me, why?
What I’m going through right now drains me. It takes all my energy. You take all my energy. It’s something I can’t explain, and you won’t understand. I’m not the person I used to be. I’m letting you take my energy. I’m letting you drain all of me.
It’s killing me deep down inside. Why did I let myself fall back in love with you? Why did you make me fall back in love with you? WHY? They say love isn’t supposed to hurt. They don’t know. Love makes you pathetic. It makes you feel pathetic.
In the end, its still over. We’re just friends. My heart is shattering and my tears keep falling.