People tend to make big deals out of these days that are given with specific titles, but I’m here to tell my short story.
For the years that I’ve recognized Thanksgiving as a holiday, I haven’t celebrated it like other families. I spend every day being thankful for everything I have and appreciating the days I get to live. My family is always too busy with work, and unlike the families that put their differences aside, my family is too torn apart to appreciate what they have.
They let their egos get the best of them. This year, I’m not content with this, but I’ve learned to accept the holiday with or without my family being together.[pullquote_right]I have learned to adapt to this holiday, because I know it’ll never be the way that I want it to be.”[/pullquote_right]
As a child I never really cared about this day, except that it was another day that I didn’t have to be in school, and it gave me more hours to play outside.
I can vaguely remember one year where my brother and I spent our Thanksgiving at our next door neighbor’s house. We had come to celebrate with her, and because we have been in her home numerous times before, I was comfortable with the familiar rooms. The many faces of her sisters and brother, daughters, sons, and grandchildren was what made me feel uncomfortable. The eyes that followed me as my brother and I stumbled across the carpet, trying to find a familiar face, frightened me. All I remember was being kicked out of her home and sent home. I was in the second grade, and I still don’t understand what we had done wrong to be sent home. This experience affected how I see this holiday.
My neighbor had a big, loving, friendly family, whereas I came home, I opened the door to pitch darkness and the sound of our shoes making out of sync footsteps.
I suppose I have learned to adapt to this holiday, because I know it’ll never be the way that I want it to be. Nothing is perfect. I think I’m fine with that. I was young then; I didn’t know the difference. Now, knowing more about my family’s history, I know I don’t want to put angry people that hold grudges against each other all in the same room. It’d be nice to have one of those days where my family came together as one, and was genuinely happy with each other, but having masked smiles and mixed feelings, isn’t what I want to spend my day being thankful for. When we can’t even be thankful that we’re all together for once, despite our differences.
I would rather spend my day alone, and internally appreciate all that I have, than be surrounded by insincere gathering on Thanksgiving.