I stormed down the street
In a blind rage, homicidal and suicidal
Thoughts racing through my mind
Warm tears purge from my eyes
–confused and without a destination
I tried to take a breathe…wasn’t sure if
I was breathing, really
My head and heart ached
I wished for something better
I yearned for an answer
But all I could do was count on time

He opened his door, apprehensively,
Taking me in the instant he caught a glimpse
Of my wet face
A friend, at my side
Held me as my head and hands shook

A night full of uncertainty
Was to be filled with only a profile of blooming answers

Hours, minutes, seconds, went by with a
Heavy heart, a full glass, and broken pride
My insides turned aflame
I felt pain, yet, a deep sense of satisfaction
Thinking that I could somehow get back at you

It all became a joke
I laughed, danced, and yelled
Strange incantations of how much I loved and hated you
Deeper and deeper, I felt as if I were
On top
Of the world
I felt as if you couldn’t hurt me anymore

The world I was on top of
Spun around so wildly, I couldn’t control it
Just like how I couldn’t control where you go
Just like how I couldn’t control those tears
Or how much of that poison entered my head, stomach,
And blood
Just like how much I hate you, or how much I love you

The night goes on, and I can’t feel a thing
I numbed myself to anyone’s words – even my own touch
–Even you

In the night of uncertainty, in the cryptically satisfying
Dance of intoxication, in the crippling grasp of love
And under hate’s thumb
I was on the top of the world
Thinking I could somehow get back at you
In a foolish effort of self- empowerment
I still lost

The kNOw Youth Media
The kNOw works to support and equip young people with the journalism and advocacy skills they need to tell their stories and the stories of their communities.

In 2006, over 25 youth began participating in weekly after-school writing workshops where they congregated in the hallway of a two-story building in West Fresno and learned the essentials of creating media and telling their stories. The group evolved over the next five years and is now proudly recognized as The kNOw Youth Media.

Through our program, we create opportunities for our youth participants, who in turn create long-term positive change in their communities. Our approach weaves youth development and youth media innovation to produce our biannual youth publication, multimedia projects, and community forums.

The kNOw began as a project of New America Media, which was the country’s first and largest national collaboration and advocate of 2000 ethnic news organizations. In 2018 The kNOw became a project of Youth Leadership Institute.

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